Look what is waiting patiently by our fireplace to be put into good use!
I’ve been saying that I’m ready for the baby to come but I had a moment while we were laying in bed last night where I just felt like I wouldn’t be ready yet if I went into labor at that moment. AJ said that the only thing we need is her Moses basket (that is what Drew slept in for the first two months) and her car seat. So today, I made the Moses basket a little girly and added a pink ribbon since she’ll be in our room with us (even though her room will be in lavenders). And it’s weird, I feel a little more ready now. Yep, just from pulling her basket out of the basement and making it “hers”.
I got the pink grosgrain ribbon at Joann Fabrics for 40% off (for 12 feet it was about $2).
But here’s the biggest reason I don’t feel ready yet. It’s not because I don’t have a crib ready for her. And it’s not because we haven’t even started moving Drew out of the nursery. It’s because of that dreadful phrase “birth plan”. With Drew I planned to give birth naturally if I could. But then I realized I’m not a hero and I desperately wanted an epidural. And then after four hours of pushing (three of which Drew stayed in the exact same position) it was recommended I have a c-section because he was probably too big for me.
So why is that relevant? Well, my doctor recommended a c-section this time because generally second babies are larger and there was nothing “off” about Drew’s birth. He was in the perfect position, everything with labor went just fine until the pushing stage, etc. But the more I thought about it, I knew I would really regret not trying for a natural birth (with epidural, thank God for those wonderful things!) this time around. My biggest motivator is to pick Drew up (with a c-section you aren’t allowed to pick anything up heavier than your newborn). I’m not sure how we would do day to day without me being able to lift him into his car seat or without being able to really walk (he is a little ball of energy). But when I went in to talk to my midwife about it the issue wasn’t as cut and dry as I thought it would be.
She told me typically a v-bac has a 75% success rate… but when you factor in everything that happened in our birth (the situation was basically ideal it just seemed like the baby was too big for my pelvis) the success rate drops to 30%. Then she said if I try for a v-bac but end up in a c-section anyway the recovery will be more difficult than if I had just gone straight to a c-section because it’s the second time of having pushed and then having to have had major surgery after. So, here’s what we decided… we scheduled one last ultrasound in two weeks. AJ and I will get a feel for the baby’s size and weight (the margin of error is one pound) and then make our decision based off that and factoring in that the baby will likely gain a pound a week for the last month. Drew was 9 pounds, 1 ounce. We have no idea what the max my pelvis can handle is so it’s sort of a guessing game.
Why am I telling you all of this? I’m asking that you pray for wisdom for AJ and I that we would make the right decision for our family. My biggest concern is that I never want Drew to feel that I want the new baby more than him or that she is more important to me. Obviously she’ll need more hands on time but I never want him to think I don’t want to pick him up and snuggle with him.
I figure the worst case scenario is that I end up with a c-section after pushing and can’t pick up Drew or really do anything for six to eight weeks, but we’ll figure it out. We figured out how to recover from having a c-section the first time with a brand new baby that we basically didn’t have a clue what to do with. At least now we have some idea of what to do with a newborn. 🙂