It’s crazy how dramatically our lives have changed in the past month. There are some minutes when I think we have got this and other moments when I want to go to bed at 7pm because the day has been so draining. When we took the twins home I made a very conscious decision that this blog would be put on the back burner. I knew I could do it all but it would mean no sleep, less time with the kids and a messy house. Basically it could all be done but nothing would be done well.
I hate that I have to scramble their faces until the adoption is finalized… they have the sweetest little features and I go bananas when they snuggle in their seat!
I want our home life to be a happy place… and for us that means saying no to projects and posts and beautifully styled photos of our home in order to have dinner on the table, four kids fed and relatively happy, some of our laundry put away and a mostly tidy house (see how my standards have dwindled? :)). I want our “real life” to be great… not just the life I’m presenting to you.
Because the babies can wake up frequently I’ve been parking myself in our bed to read or respond to emails almost every night. This bed… oh my goodness… I just love it (aren’t beds always exponentially more comfortable when you are beyond exhausted?). We have figured out the best routine for us and the babies is to do one final feeding at 10 or 10:30p. The past couple of nights we’ve started watching season one of Parenthood. Are there those of you out there who just started crying because of what we heard was the world’s greatest season finale?
I was given such a dynamite gift lately by my friend, Danielle. She raved about Jen Hatmaker’s book For the Love. I’m laughing until I cry and then just straight crying. There is this great quote from the book that I’m going to frame on our wall, but that’s a different post for a different day. I have loved the book so much thus far (I’m only halfway through it) that I ordered ten copies to give away. Before you think I’m made of money listen to this: the book is about $17 on Amazon but I found it through CBD as an irregular copy for $3.99. I figure that even if it’s missing a dust jacket or has a dinged corner the words inside will be the same. I think I bought all the copies because there were none left when I went to link to it for you. 🙁
Lately I’ve been learning the incredible value of community and accepting help. My guess is that you’re probably like me. Accepting help feels like admitting defeat. It’s admitting you are a mess that can’t do it all. It means in some way you are inconveniencing someone (financially, time-wise, etc.) and I hate the thought of that. Here’s what I’m realizing though, AJ and I need help. We haven’t figured out how to flawlessly do this parenting thing (shockingly, no one ever has). I’m learning, slowly, that there is nothing wrong with asking, and accepting, help. There are some people that genuinely want to help. They have practically begged to bring a meal to us. And it’s been wonderful. It’s been such a gift to let us soak up time with the kids instead of stressing about making a meal. Today, I took my friend Lonna up on her offer to help with anything. The need for help, and to not have to schlep Elle and the twins to a birthday party for Drew’s friend, won in the pride game of asking for help. I asked if she could take Drew since she was taking her daughter anyway. I can’t tell you how much space in my day and in my mind that freed up. Try it this week. Ask someone for help… you will feel more free, I promise. Don’t try to do it all.